.. I'm so embarrassed! I'm so scared, Patrick. I just can't yet." She gave a little sob and hid her head in her hands."What are you scared about, Megan? Surely you know I would never hurt you." I didn't understand. It was not as if she was a blushing virgin. I was so used to people trusting me; it was confusing to find someone that was scared of me."I'm scared because my life will change forever as soon as we make love. I've loved you and wanted you for so long. Then I had you for 15 years. I was in heaven. Then you were taken away from me. It almost killed me, Patrick. I... I just don't think I could go through that again. I'm unhappy every day of my life without you, but I'm used to it and I know what to expect. It's been my life's dream to have you as my husband. I just don't think I would want to go on living if I had you again and then lost you again. I don't think I would survive." She looked at me with those big, sad eyes. I was afraid they were her 'know everything. .. okay, I was thinking about... my hands on... those hips... while I... bumped that pretty bottom." Um, hum," she said, looking at me up and down as best she could with me seated in my SUV."Well, let me tell you something, hon," she said in a conspiratorial tone. "Nobody... but NOBODY..." here she stabbed her stiffened right index finger at the tip of my nose, "holds these hips and bumps this bottom unless they make satisfactory payment in advance."Huh? She was a... ?"And don't even think about it. I'm not a hooker, babe!" Then what kind of... " Stick out your tongue." What?" Let me see your tongue."I stuck out my tongue as far as I could."That'll work. Do you know how to use that thing?" she asked.I was a little slow. It dawned on me what she was saying. "I've had some success. So far nobody has complained." Okay, here's the way it works. If you're willing to use that thing until I tell you to stop and do a good job of it, then you'll be paid in full and get to bump that bottom.
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